Mother's Day

First of all let me say Happy Mother's day to all the wonderful and amazing women in my life. I truly believe it doesn't take birthing a child to make you a mom and I know so many women that are natural mothers and nuturers, with and without children. All of these women are such amazing examples and so uniquely gifted in their roles as "mothers" and I admire them all so individually. I am especially grateful for my own mom. She has been my constant throughout my life and such a great example. For quite a few years during my teenager time, it was just me and my mom and I'm grateful for the special bond that time created. She is my cheerleader, my support. She has been an amazing example of unconditional love and patience. For me, I have always been grateful for my mom, but having Jax has shed new light on the personal sacrifice of a mother's time, talents, sanity, etc. etc. Motherhood for me has also shown the love that a mother feels for her child. I am so grateful for the love my mom has for me and how it has guided her and myself through this life and our relationship. I am grateful for the divine mother and daughter relationship and I hope my mom knows how much I value and love her!

So onto my personal Mother's day. As I write this post, it's about 10:45pm on Mother's Day 2013 and to be very honest I am feeling very challenged in my role as a mother at this point in my life. And honestly I feel a little guilty saying that and saying it on Mother's day!!! :( I so wanted to echo my Mother's day post from last year (Mother's Day 2012). I was so grateful for the opportunity to be Jax's mom and filled with joy. But I also want to real to the record of my life and our life as a family! And right now my experience as a mom is not rainbows and butterflies most days and that's okay. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful Heavenly Father has given me the sacred responsibility of being Jax's mom.  However, this week has been the week from h*** and today was no different!!! My child has been overtired, disobedient, defiant, unruly, sassy, mean and just a plain brut! Not to mention he is going through a major dadda phase, which I used to kind of love. However the phase has gone from preferring Jon to just plain not liking me and crying when I hold him (to his defense this is only when Jon is around) and fighting me to get down. Kind of sad to admit, but the truth of our little world right now. I am physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually exhausted. Now that I have had my PATHETIC mommy pity party, I can say I love my boy more than life itself. He can throw a million tantrums, dislike me a million days in a row, fight me at every turn and I will still love him more than he will ever know. I guess that's the irony of motherhood. They can be just plain mean and we love them all the same. We still pray for them, cry for them, plead for guidance for them, probably even more so during the hardships of motherhood. Even though Jax is a challenge for me as a mother right now, I wouldn't trade him on his worst day (although I might tell Jon different!). He encourages me to grow, to be more loving, patient, kind, supportive. I know because of him, I am becoming a better person as such as I dislike the growing pains on some days. I am thankful that every day is a new day to do better as his mom and to help Jax progress in this life. I am grateful for the sweet moments I have with my boy. The tiny kisses, the kisses blown, the smirks, the high fives, the bumps, the cuddles, the hugs, the dance parties, the bath time splashes, the bubbles chased, the water dumped, the giggles, the running (bouncing), the new things learned and so much more. At the end of each day the classic saying holds true, while being a mom is the HARDEST job in the world, it's also the BEST.

We have decided Jax is going through a Sour Patch kid phase. Please see below :)

He is sour then sweet.....story of his life! 

I have to give credit to my sweet love of a husband and sweet bubs. They really did give me some great Mother's day moments. I was able to sleep in (not going to lie, Jon lets me sleep in a lot do his scheduled with work! ;) I'm a lucky lady). And then I was woken up be the cutest little alarm clock busting through the door. He brought me this card (I think his dadda help him pick it out! Pretty dang funny and I love the message inside) and some treats......

And Jon brought me some waffles a little later. After that Jax went down for a nap and then it was off to church when he woke up. Unfortunately it was a rough nursery day so he ended up with me and we both ended up in the library chatting with our friends Crystal & Matt (which is always fun!). After church Jax and I went outside to play bubbles and kick his balls around and my super sweet Jon did the dishes. Then it was off to Jon's brother's home for dinner with his two brothers, their cute families and Jon's parents for mother's day/May birthday dinner. Jax was heaven because there was a trampoline, piano, chickens and little people chasing him around. After dinner we headed home for another "wonderful" bedtime and after 45 minutes of screaming he finally fell asleep! Then Jon and I RELAXED! Yay! :)

Happy Mother's Day! :) :) :)