The Conley Crew

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Captain America to Save the Day!

My boy is in heaven with the summer heat and sunshine right now! And to put his happiness over the top I let my little captain america go nuts with the hose....for a while! His cute little face says it all. He might die being cooped up this winter.

He also discovered his shadow....for cute! (Thanks Hay & Mya for the tip ;))

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Tiny Moment - Saggiest Diaper EVER!

This bad boy diaper is a combination of time playing with sprinkler and a very large poo! :) Sometimes it's that kind of day!!! Yup!

Tiny Moment - Mom & Her Jax Boy

I know that this little guy is a dadda's boy......but sometimes he is a momma's boy too! I love that Jax & I get to learn and grow together. He is my guinea pig being a first child. Gratefully he is a forgiving and loving little boy and I am so grateful for that! We definitely have our hard moments of teaching and consequences but we have so many happy and loving moments! I am lucky and grateful to have my rambunctious and crazy little guy!

Tiny Moment - His New Hat

Tiny Moment - A Daily Occurrence

I think we clean up a blood "thing" almost every day. Whether it's a knee, or an elbow, a head, a toe...something almost everyday. The joys of having a boy! :) I pray this doesn't equate to future ER visits... fingers crossed.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Tiny Moments - Remembering the Small Moments

Sometimes I think I take too many pictures and post too many posts but then I take a look at the pictures from a day in the life of Jax and I remember you can never take too many pictures or record too many memories. Even though I am exhausted every day due to my busy little guy, I can't help but just love him and cherish our time! He is the best entertainment....Ever....Of all time! ;)

Tiny Moment - I Will Survive......My Allergies

I don't know if it is because it's been exceptionally windy this year out in Saratoga or what but my allergies have gone crazy. If I miss taking my Claritin, life is pretty miserable. And even when I take it, it seems wear off half way through a super windy day. Anyways, here is me on one such bad allergy day!

This was Jax's reaction when I told him we had to stay inside for a little bit so mom could rest her eyes. My boy likes to be OUTSIDE! ;)

Monday, June 3, 2013

Da Na Na Na Na Na Batman!

I bet you didn't know what Batman does on his off time........

(The cutest little batman I ever did see! :))

He does regular peeps stuff like "mowing" the lawn :)

He jams out to his boom box! :)

He finds joy in the simple things....like blowing bubbles! :)

He deals with the stress and owies of being a super hero in his own "special" way. ;)

He meets up with his Robin ;) My two inseparables!

He gets some exercise to stay in shape.

And finally he takes his shoes off and relaxes for a bit before he's off to save the world! :)

Saturday, June 1, 2013

A Dip in My Month

So I debated publishing this post but at the end of the day I want my blog to be a real history of my family and my thoughts as a mom, wife and person. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly. For the past 5 months Jon and I have been trying to get pregnant with our second child. And for the 5th month there has been one day a month where I have a dip. It's a sad day for me. It's the day I realize there will not be a baby in 8+ months. Today was the 5th month of my dip day. The 5th sad day. My cycle comes, I tell Jon, I hope its only implantation bleeding and when it's not I shed some tears and I move on. Oh wait and then I like to lie to myself and say it's okay because Jax is a handful but in my heart I'm really sad, a lot sadder than I thought I would be. Now the reason I hesitated posting this is because a lot of people might say 5 months not long at all and they know others that have tried a lot longer or they themselves have tried a lot longer. And I know that it can take quite along time to get pregnant and patience should be my mantra. However, knowing this and believing this are two different things. And yes I know we have been very blessed with having an amazing child already. We actually got pregnant with Jax the first month, so I naively assumed it would happen that quickly again or shortly after the first month. That has been far from the case. We have been tracking, taking tests ovulation tests and nothing is happening. It's hard when you get that nudging in your heart that's it time for another baby and then month after month you find yourself in tears. You wonder what you did wrong or why your body is betraying you. And being the awesome self beater/over analytical debater I am, my thoughts spiral into a million thoughts. I wonder if it's not happening because I am not good enough mom, because if I am not a good enough mom to Jax than why in the world would Heavenly Father ever entrust me with another sweet spirit. I wonder if it's because I've gained weight and am no longer eating clean, so my body is rebelling the only way it can. I wonder if it's because we decided to start a family later in life. I wonder if it's because I complained about the hardships of being pregnant when so many struggle with infertility. I wonder if it's because I lack patience and I'm being taught a lesson. Then I go to a place of doubt. I start thinking what if Jaxson was my only pregnancy. (From what I have read, it isn't completely uncommon for women to have quick conception and a healthy full term baby with their first and then have unexplained secondary infertility). What if I never get to experience growing a baby in my belly again. Never get to feel the first sweet bump, bump and then later the gymnastics and kick boxing. Never get to see an ultrasound or a sweet profile on the screen. Never get to hold a sweet ewey gooey babes on my chest. As hard as pregnancy was on my body and on me mentally, it truly was an amazing and life changing experience. Sometimes at night, when it was just me and my belly I would give it a rub and wait for my little partner in crime to give me a kick or nudge back. We would play this game for a while and almost felt like a conversation. I fell in love with Jax way before I held him in my arms. Maybe I took getting pregnant and having a healthy full term baby for granted. Maybe it came to easy the first time and I forgot my gratitude. I guess if by some unfortunate chance I have had my only pregnancy I will consider myself blessed and cherish the memory. I know it is way to premature to be thinking this way but I'm the lady who prepares for all the scenarios if I can.

I know that at the end of the day whether and when we get pregnant again comes back to the Lord's timeline. I am sure there are countless reasons the Lord could have for me not getting preggers. And these reasons are only for me and my family's good but knowing this is easier than having faith in it for me right now. Right now, tonight, I am just sad. Right now, I am having my dip/self-beating insomnia. Right now it sucks! Sorry for the rant and especially sorry for those that are struggling with fertility. Though my experience might seem short, my heart now aches for you and with you. Off to bed....everything seems a little better in the morning. ;)