J2B2: Will It Be There?

I remember when I found out I was pregnant with Jaxson. I was elated. Of course I was scared of becoming a mom. However, I was blissfully ignorant of everything that could go wrong. I knew miscarriage was a possibility but I didn't really think about it. I remember walking into my 12 week appointment (which was my first appointment, haha. That just goes to show how la-la-la-la-la I was about my pregnancy with Jax) and being so excited to see my baby. My doctor even forgot to turn on his heartbeat sound so we could hear it. We didn't even think about it till we got home and someone asked how it was to hear the heartbeat. With this pregnancy I feel like I am a bundle of nerves. Today I am 6 weeks and I have one more week until my first ultrasound. They will make sure the baby(s) is (are) growing in the correct spot (not ectopic), has (have) a heart beat(s) and verify how many babes I am carrying. I am so scared for this appointment, there are no words. Will it (they) have a heartbeat? Will it (they) be in my uterus? Every ache, sharp pain has me in a small panic.When symptoms come and go, I feel like I can't breath. Is is ectopic? Am I miscarrying? Did the fertility meds screw me up? Did it send an unhealthy egg? Will I pay a price for doing fertility treatments? I know there is nothing I can do right now but wait but the wait is so painful. I want to feel joy, I want to immerse myself in the blessing growing within me but the fear is so overpowering, so overwhelming. Every day I try to seek out peace to find joy in this journey, to find hope and optimism. For right now the best I can do is take a lot of deep breaths and just keep swimming.