It Will Never Stop Being Hard For Me

Today we got Jaxson's blood allergy test results back. They were pretty close to what I assumed would come back so my reaction was surprising. He is still very much anaphylactic to peanuts and has been put on their wait list for the immunotherapy. The wait list is about a year. Fingers crossed we can get everything under control before kindergarten. His levels are still pretty elevated for egg, but still not anaphylactic so we will just wait and see if he grows out of them at this point. His dairy allergy levels are to the point of a food challenge which is done in their Layton office and will be scheduled soon. And we also found out he has slightly elevated levels to hazelnut and walnut and will be doing a food challenge for them as well. Lastly he tested positive for a Factor V (which Jon has as well). Factor V Leiden is a mutation of one of the clotting factors in blood called Factor V. The mutation increases your chance of developing blood clots. Cue the tears! Not only does my four year old have one life threatening element in his body (anaphylaxis to peanuts) but now he has two with his increased chance of developing blood clots which could be thrown to cause pulmonary embolism or stroke. When I heard the Factor V results, I couldn't help but think of my amazing brother in law who unexpectedly died from a stroke and he had no predisposition for clotting. Hence one of the reasons I probably overacted to Jaxson testing positive for Factor V. I want to protect my boys from everything, especially things that can be life threatening. And then my irrational momma guilt kicks in. In my mind I should have protected him. When I was pregnant with him, my body should have fought harder to protect him. To help him grow and develop without these concerns. Like I said it's not super irrational but most of the momma bear inside of me isn't. At the end of the day I can't change where we are now. All Jon and I can do is get Jaxson through the immunotherapy, say a couple million prayers he out grows egg, hope the food challenges go well for dairy, hazelnut and walnut and pray the Factor V is easily managed in his little body. Wish us and our amazing bubs Jaxson good luck with moving forward :)