Secondary Infertility

Before we started trying for a second child, the thought of not being able to conceive quickly or at all never crossed my mind. I assumed that because we conceived so easily with Jaxson, we would have no problem the second time around. I was a mom and I knew that was my purpose for this season in my life, so I figured it would just happen. Now we are 16 cycles into trying to conceive and have received the official diagnosis of unexplained secondary infertility. This diagnosis represents two separate challenges for me.

Unexplained
I hate this diagnosis. Now I know it could be worse. I have healthy tubes, a nice shaped uterus and good & healthy egg count. But for a lady who likes to know everything and fix it, it's a rough one. It doesn't mean that there isn't a problem, it just means that modern science is struggling for an exact diagnosis. So for now, we are in the place we are in with no explanation or end in sight. Grrrrrrrr.

Secondary
A lot of people assume because I have one child, infertility shouldn't be as hard on me as I take it. I have one child and I should find gratitude in this as some are not this fortunate.....or at least that it is what I am constantly told. This is a hard one for people to understand and I get it, well to extent. I am on the other side now, so my perspective is completely different now. I live every day with a piece of our family missing. A sibling for Jax, a son or daughter for Jon and I. There is a hole in our life and family and it is felt deeply. Yes, I have immense gratitude for Jaxson and the fact I was able to conceive him and have him be apart of our family, however that doesn't erase the yearning for another child.

So while we have our diagnosis, it doesn't help us with our treatment plan. We will continue to play darts in the dark to see what works. Well that and pray a lot!