Man, I love this man. I thought I loved him when we got married (but honestly I knew we had a lot of room for growth in our relationship, since it always had some rough and rocky patches while dating....mostly thanks to me). I thought I loved him when we fought for our marriage with marriage counseling our first year and decided we worth all the fighting and instead to fight for each other not with each other. I thought I loved him when we had our first son, Jaxson. We grew together as exhausted, dumb-dumb, head over heel in love with their grumpy newborn first time parents. I watched him cuddle, soothe, love, play with, feed and do so much more with Jax. There were definitely some heart melting moments. I thought I loved him when we went through two and half years of infertility trying to get pregnant with our second child. I felt like at times I was collapsing into myself and I watched my husband pull me up as he encouraged me to take his hand and walk in faith. I thought I loved him when a beloved brother in law was taken too early from my sister and their children. I saw him step up and support her and the kiddos as much as he could. There aren't words for the gratitude I have in my heart and love and appreciation that I have for the relationship he built, especially with Shauna's boys. I thought I loved him when our miracle baby was born. Holding Benson was like holding sunshine and light. He was such a healing to our family and watching Jon hold him and love our miracle was truly amazing. I thought I loved him when he lost his job. I had never seen him so defeated, broken, hurt. But also never so determined, strong and brazen with the will to fight for his family and himself. As we struggled those months, we definitely had a rebirth in holding onto each other and Lord above all else. I thought I loved him when we received the surprise news that we were going to be parents for the third time. He supported me through my unfounded fears of losing our second (but completely different kind of) miracle baby during the pregnancy. He watched me weigh through my guilt of getting pregnant without struggle and pain this time, knowing so many of my friends and acquaintances were going through their own personal infertility hell. I thought I loved him when his dad died. I watched him find faith and reassurance from the heavens that families are forever and his dad would always be near to us and our children. I thought I loved him when he loved me through every harsh word and act directed at him from me. I thought I loved him when he failed to see all my shortcomings, my flaws, my mistakes. I thought I loved him when he forgave me the millionth time of all my imperfections. And the truth is....I did. I loved him through each one of these things. And I'm grateful because my love for him continues to expand and grow. We are not perfect people and ours is definitely not a perfect marriage. He tends to hoard all things electronic and shoe related. His side of the room is NEVER clean. He will let his clean laundry sit on the floor for months before putting it away (oh wait I always break down and put it away! ha!). He leaves dishes right by sink.....not in the sink.....right by the sink! He snores......LOUDLY! He thinks I'm talented, when really I'm not. He thinks I'm beautiful, when in reality I'm just average looking. He never makes me feel chubby (and I am chubby after having three beautiful kids). He wears the most complete and amazing blinders when it comes to me and how grateful I am for that. I'm my harshest critic and thankfully I live with one of my biggest fans. I am so grateful he fought for me 10 years ago when all I wanted to do was run away. I'm the luckiest on any given day (even when I'm mad and annoyed with him for something stupid and sometimes for something real). I'm grateful he is my ride or die through the bumps, twists and turns. Happy 10 years babe!
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