The Conley Crew: August 2014

11/06/14: I have written and rewritten and rewritten this post multiple times, on multiple occasions. It has been both painful and therapeutic all at the same time. The reality and sorrow of Tim's absense rolls in waves and all I can do is pray for peace for my sister and her family. I know the loss I feel is a drop in the bucket to their grief and loss.

On Saturday, August 23rd, 2014, around 6:30am, after a crazy night of thunder and lightening (Tim's last party, loudest one I've heard since living in Utah), Timmers (my sister, Shauna's husband) returned home to our Heavenly Father. It was a beautiful, sunny morning with snow glistening on the mountains (a perfect August gift for his one true girl). He had suffered a massive stroke earlier in the week on Tuesday evening while in the park with four out of his five children. After massive swelling, extreme damage to his brain and brain stem, lack of responsive behavior and an extremely poor prognosis (full paralysis, no speech ability, feeding tube, full time nursing home, etc....if he woke up at all) he was removed from life support. My sister, Shauna, made the hard, selfless and loving decision to not prolong his suffering (after consulting multiple specialists). She has beyond amazed me with her strength and determination to do what was best for Tim and the kids and not herself. This sounds a little strange but Shauna has always been my second mom. She is the oldest girl (I'm the baby of the family) and we are 7 years apart but best friends none the less. She has constantly been there for me, encouraging me, supporting me. She has always been a role model to me. Before this tragedy happened, the way she lived always gave something to aspire to. After, I have been amazed at the way she has picked up herself as well as her five little ducks. Although grief surrounds their family, she has set a tone to honor Tim's memory and find their way in a new, unfamiliar (& sometimes very scary) world.

I feel so fortunate because Timmers and I were buddies pretty much from the get go. He was more my brother than my brother in law and I was honored to be his other little sister. I was also very blessed to live with the Watsons twice throughout the years. Once during apartment transition and once before I got married. I was able to experience their family dynamic and witness their wonderful marriage in person (the princess bride effect if you will). I was able to see who he truly was. A devoted and loving father and a kind, patient husband. And I was always impressed by it all. He also impacted my life. He constantly encouraged me to be my best self, put myself out there in the right places, be confident and love and enjoy life. I remember he pulled me aside one day when I was floundering and we had the best chat about life and what I wanted out of mine. I always had tremendous respect for him and will cherish our chats. After I got married and moved out, our fun continued with Sunday night shows and girls night. Timmers was forever my comedy buddy. We thoroughly enjoyed quoting Taladega Nights and spouting numerous "That's what she said" jokes. Sometimes we drove Shauna nuts (I think she let us believe that because it made it all the more fun), but we all always ended the night laughing till we hurt. The memory of him saying "I'm Tim and I like to party" will forever be ingrained in my memory, along with so many more inside jokes and heart felt moments. I miss so many things about Timmers but am so grateful for every single memory.

Jax was also blessed to be awesome buds with his Uncle Tim. He may have been borderline stalking him at some points. :) Tim was always super sweet with him. Even giving him the nickname, Jacqualynn the boy, haha (Jacq and Jax share a birthday, just 6 years a apart). It made my smile and was always said in fun and love. I'm so grateful for the kind of uncle he chose to be to my boy.

(My all time fav pics of these two. Lots of love there!)

After Tim's death, Shauna asked her kiddos who they wanted to give the life sketch at the funeral and they asked if I could. I can not tell you how honored I felt. I was grateful to share the life of a man I so respected and loved. I pray on some level, in some small way, I did his life some justice.

Here is a copy of life sketch I delivered at his funeral:

First, let me say what a beautiful day it is to honor Tim. As I drove to the church this morning I couldn’t help but think the sun was shining a little brighter. Hi my name is Alyssa Conley. I am Tim’s sister-in-law by marriage but fortunate to have him be my brother by choice. When my nieces and nephews, asked me to give their Dad’s life sketch my first thought was, “I’m pretty sure Timmers knows my biggest fear in this world is public speaking and he’s somehow behind this!!!” He was ever my encourager, cheering me on to step outside my comfort zone and become the person he saw in me. I do feel extremely humbled and honored to help share the life of one of my favorite people. I pray I can do his story justice. I assure you I do not have his uncanny ability to public speak, nor his level of articulation and finesse. However, like Tim would always tell me, you got this, winners win. So today that’s what I will try to do for him.

Timothy Chad Watson was born on November 25^th, 1976 in San Jose, California to Janice Marie and Joseph Gayle Watson. He was the third of four children. His eldest brother Jeff, followed by his brother Darren and later his younger sister Deanna followed. Originally Tim was due in December. However, his mom just knew he would arrive in November. To ensure this, she might have run around the block a time or two. Tim was also expected to be a girl, due to his strong and quick heart rate. Jan jokingly recalled that she received both a nameless baby boy and turkey sandwich as he was born on Thanksgiving day.

As a child, Tim was very different from his adult self. He was described by his family as shy, sensitive and relatively quiet. While he was one of the youngest in his class he always described as one of the most intelligent by his teachers. Tim also participated and thrived in the Boy Scout program, eventually earning his Eagle Scout. However their Timmy managed to get into a little mischief as well. Especially with his cousins and siblings. Even though he was know for his going with the flow attitude as a child, there might have been one call placed to the police department reporting his brother Darren, after being thrown in the evergreens outside. With a few pranks, screen door bounces, missed pool flips, bunny bite scars, bridge jumps, go-cart banishments and scary driving in Spartacus under his belt, he definitely showed another side to their quiet guy.

The start of his high school career was also the start of his very active lifestyle. He involved himself in water polo, swimming and wrestling. He was a dedicated athlete, sometimes having practice for all three sports in one day. This dedication led to him lettering in all three sports, which he was immensely proud of.

Tim began to come out of his shy shell after a family move to Utah his senior year of high school. He attended Alta high where he met his lifelong friends, Bodey and Nut and yes those are nicknames J. Let’s just say, peanuts and noses were involved.

Throughout his high school and college years he remained close to his family and adopted great friends as brothers. His willingness to bring joy to others was immeasurable. If his sister needed a real Christmas tree, he might have borrowed a planted one from public viewing. There is a distinct possibility a blank tree spot remains in Orem to this day. His friends would say, he was always willing to put himself on a limb for those he loved. Sir Timothy Watson the third can vouch for that as he stuck out his neck to help a buddy graduate high school. Someone had to sign the community service forms. However Tim never did anything without great thought. He knew that his friend, let’s call him Bodey J, would have a great impact on the world around him. Tim’s faith in people was amazing. He had an ability to see them for who they truly were and who they could aspire to be.

Upon his graduation from High School, Tim’s parents never had any doubt he would serve a mission. From a young age, he and his father discussed his future service to the Lord. Tim approached the subject with excitement and profound love for the gospel. He looked forward to the chance to focus his life solely on bringing people to Christ and serving those around him. He was called to serve in the Geneva Switzerland, French speaking mission. He entered the MTC on December 6^th, 1995. During his time in the MTC, he asked his parents for pizza on a weekly basis. While this is not surprising, it’s a little funny because his love for pizza never wavered throughout the years. His fun loving, happy and contagious attitude inspired the MTC to be a joy for others and created life long friendships and brotherhoods. His mission, like many others, was not without trials. Especially, while he served in northern France, where angry locals carrying bats chased him. Although the work was challenging, Tim always spoke very fondly of his time on the mission and was grateful for his personal and spiritual growth.

Upon his return, he enrolled in the firefighting program at UVSC and finished his certification less than a year later. Although technically less qualified than some, our every charming Tim acquired a job at the West Jordan Fire Department. Like his Dad said, I don’t think the kid ever had a bad interview. While he enjoyed his work and aiding others, he found the environment didn’t align with the life he wanted to live and the man he aspired to be. He returned to school to complete his degree.

Now, I was blessed to be the first from Shauna’s family to meet Tim in the summer of ‘98. They had met shortly before at a dance and spent the next two weeks together. Their meeting at the dance has many different versions; most filled with made-up facts by Tim to entertain their children. Shauna said it was not love at first sight because Tim liked all the ladies and she dated one boy at a time. Tim however found Shauna to be sweet, intriguing and somewhat unattainable. It wasn’t until their next interaction at Salt Lake dance club with mutual friends that things began to click. Tim had decided to leave the club after feeling the environment to be a little rough around the edges. Shauna left for similar reasons but secretly wanted to run into Tim, which she did. He made sure of it. That night he somehow located a jeep and they rode around town with the top down enjoying Salt Lake. He was always able to make anything happen, especially an adventure out of thin air. He found the best in any situation and brought an element of magic to the boring or mundane. Shauna recalled being so attracted to the bounce in his step and his happiness and passion for life. She knew there was something special about this boy. Although Shauna returned home to Washington for the rest of summer term and Tim remained in Utah, the two picked up right where they left off upon her return in the fall and began their roller coaster of courtship. Let me just say, bless Tim for his perseverance. Love you sisser J. Through all the ups and downs and steps forward and back, he knew there was something about this “S Girl”. Something special, something he needed to have in his life for eternity. By the power of prayer and confirmation from the Lord, he had been assured Shauna was his girl. Even though she turned down multiple marriage proposals from him. On April 12^th, 1999, Tim decided to go big for the proposal. He persuaded her to go out on a date, even though she was reluctant that night. During the date, which involved going to places all around Provo, he had 11 red roses delivered to her by friends and strangers on their many stops. With their last stop being the Provo Temple. He used one white rose to propose. She said no. Thankfully Tim’s persistence and determination were unwavering as was his faith in both his answer from the Lord and their future. He suggested they take a weekend road trip down to St. George and she gladly agreed. The two of them were always up for an adventure. Thank goodness because down the road the spacing of children definitely presented a crazy one. In St. George he proposed again and she finally said yes. He immediately got on the phone to his boys to tell them the good news. Unfortunately, she got on a plane days later with her runaway bride doubts. After much prayer on her end, she reached out to Tim with her confirmation of their future. To ensure their engagement remained intact he hopped on a plane to Washington and moved there for the summer.

When people asked Tim about marrying Shauna, he would say, “We have to get married because the doctor says we are in love” and Shauna would chime in, “Yeah in the temple”. A temple marriage was of the upmost importance to the two of them. It set a strong precedence and expectation of their life together. Once those two finally got on the same page, they never left.

Tim and Shauna were sealed for time and all eternity in the Portland Oregon temple on November 19, 1999, or as they like to call it 111999. However, the wedding did not go off without a hitch. Tim’s fear of his runaway bride almost became a reality. Okay not really. Shauna got lost on the way to the temple and was 30 plus minutes late. The little old lady temple workers kept telling Tim, “don’t worry we can find you a bride”. In all the chaos, Shauna recalled just wanting to get to Tim. It was then she had her definitive answer and they never again looked back.

After a quick stop over in Washington state, where my teenage self harassed them relentlessly, their adventure began with a move to Hawaii in the winter of 2000. There, Tim attended BYU Hawaii, while Shauna worked. Well really Tim surfed….A LOT. He also used his “lucky rabbit foot” ways and somehow attended a school trip for pearl research in Tahiti. He’s pretty proud of that. After his graduation from BYU Hawaii in June 2001, their family of two made the move to San Jose, California. He attended school for his MBA in addition to working full time. He and Shauna were also temple workers at the Oakland temple. Often serving multiple times in a week. Tim had such a deep love for the temple and work done inside. In addition they welcomed their first child, Maximus Joseph, born September 30^th, 2002. When Shauna shared the news of their pending arrival, Tim said, “I can’t believe it! Should I be elated or scared!”. As we all know, Tim took so naturally to being a dad. He sincerely found joy in every moment (well most moments). He radiated a true and amazing tenderness to his parenting. He became a beckon, a home base to all his children. They gravitated to him. Those who witnessed his parenting did so in admiration. Shortly after Max’s birth, they received a surprise in the way of their twins. During the first ultrasound Tim turned to the technician and said, “Can you check again? I did not bring a two for one coupon in here with me”. Barrett Mathias and Alexander Timothy were born on February 12, 2004. Making Max and twins 16 months apart. After Tim’s graduation from his master’s program in the spring of 2004, their family of five, moved to Gig Harbor, Washington. During their short time in Washington, Shauna felt inspired to have another baby. Tim told her she had one month. During that month, Jacqualynn Grace came to be and was born on October 20^th, 2005. Making their kid total four under the age of barely three years. A few short months later in January of 2006, the family of six moved to Orem, Utah. This move like the others was meant to be for a short time, a few years at most. However, the family came to love this state and it became their permanent home.

As they began to put roots down in Utah and their house wasn’t filled from top to bottom with diapers, Tim’s passions for fitness and health began to grow. He started to participate in mountain biking, marathons, triathlons, Ironmans, weightlifting and cycling even completing the Seattle to Portland ride. Occasionally he enjoyed going to a sports game or watching it on TV, but really only if the Texas Longhorns or BYU playing. He had an amazing ability to eat 10 meals on Sunday night and smile and laugh all the way through every girl’s night and family party. All of his mentioned hobbies and enjoyments always came second to the gospel and his family. And speaking of family, the Lord wasn’t done giving their family surprises. Lola Marie, their miracle baby, was born on October 16, 2009. When Tim found out about their last surprise, he didn’t say anything; he drove to the doctor and rode his bike home.

Tim and Shauna have constantly looked for traditions to keep their family close, especially through the upcoming teenage years. As a family they enjoy snow skiing, boating, hiking, bike riding, swimming, using Timmers as a jungle gym, mom and dad dates and so much more. He was always willing to go out of his comfort zone and learn something new if it meant time spent with his family. I love a motto they have in their home, “Go be a real boy or girl”. He wanted them to experience, grow and learn from doing not watching or sitting. He, himself, was never one to sit idly by. Rather he was the one getting people on their feet, ensuring all felt included and needed.

How thankful I am to have known Tim in this life. I feel so blessed from my interactions with him, his wise counsel and Christ like example of love. I know I am not alone in this feeling. Amazingly, that is how everyone felt about his or her interactions with him. He was the first to offer his amazing, warm, and welcoming smile; a helping hand; and an encouraging word or two. He was also funny. But he was that rare, witty type of humor. He had the quickest turn around when telling a joke or teasing or quoting a movie line, especially from Talladega Nights or Hot Rod. He might have even hide a dirty diaper or a hundred in my car. People couldn’t help but smile around Tim. He brought a much-needed levity to this world. He always took the opportunity to listen to others. Wanting to know their stories. Aid in their causes. He truly strived to be an instrument of the Lord and serve. He was an amazing teacher. Affecting all ages and stages around him. Someone put it perfectly in sharing their condolences recently. They called Tim a difference maker and there could be no truer statement of him. Whether it was in his church calling, the way he inspired those he worked with, a complete stranger or the his tiny people within the walls of his home; he made a difference and it was usually pretty dang significant one. What he gave to others and the person he chose to be in his 37 years on this earth will ripple through out eternity in the lives of each of us. Especially in lives of his children and wife. I will forever miss his little celebration dance with finger arrows and mini hip action. While I see it perfectly in my mind, I know I cannot do it justice. Just like I know speaking about his life for 15 minutes doesn’t reflect the true measure of a man I looked up to so much. I pray we take his passion for life, family and the gospel in combination with his amazingly happy heart and desire to serve and live a little bit more like he did.

I have a testimony of the gospel. I know my Savior lives. I know I will see Tim again. Shake and bake till we meet again Timmers. I say these things in the name of thy son, Jesus Christ, Amen.